There is much talk about Black women and how they shouldn’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a friend of mine telling me once that she will never get married to a Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always telling her playmates, she was married to a White guy.
The reason for some women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why some Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, so they assume without knowing, and they feel that they’d rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t.
Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking their daughters up with people of their own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my friend for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; These white men will most often say how they feel, hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some younger White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men 40 plus are very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guy.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase – ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Whether Black or White, is this Racial or Preference? As much as many may not want to hear it, I think it’s acually both, in the best possible way.
Kandice
I thought your post was interesting and agreed with most of it. Attraction is the basic premise for one person falling in love with another. Someone could be naturally attracted to long hair, or luscious lips, or black men, or white men. I do feel that the majority of black women who are with white, or Hispanic, or Asian men are with them based on their attraction to them. Unfortunately though, there can be some cases where black women don’t date black men solely because they discredit them on negative stereotypes. But otherwise, I really liked the post.